Consistency is Key

Falling behind and trying to catch up is about as easy as trying to spread frozen butter on room temperature bread. Very difficult.

Yet here I am falling the slightest bit more behind on my schoolwork as I attempt to fill you in on the many things that have happened in my life.

First and foremost I would like to make a promise to you. Every single Wednesday night/Thursday morning I will post a new blog. I know some people have told me they missed my writing so this is for you guys. I promise through and through to consistently write and keep log of what I do.

Consistency is key in life. We consistently need food and water to stay alive, we consistently need human interaction or else we would go bonkers, we consistently like to find love or else we would be sad, depressed people. I found that we also need to be consistent in other things too. Although small, we need to always remember to be nice to others, to love the ones that don’t necessarily love us, and take time out of our day to help other people. (I’m actually a profit incase you didn’t know) Anyways, it’s true! I see too many people being rude to each other and blowing people off. It happens to me too, all the time!

So what I’m trying to say here is lets all be consistently good people. Okay? Okay.

Moving along to other things, I recently just competed in the Hard Rock Rising Battle of the Bands competition. It was pretty much AMAZING to say the least. I had outstanding support from my friends at St. Thomas and tons of my family came out to see me and it was overwhelmingly awesome. For the first time I had real fans that I got to interact with (and take a giant selfie with and put it on my snapchat.. how cool). When I was on stage, I finally felt this incredible happiness and sense of belonging that I hadn’t felt in so long. It was truly marvelous. I never wanted to stop, and I probably wouldn’t have stopped it wasn’t for the emcee telling me I had surpassed my time limit… true story. I like to sing guys, and no one can stop me. (unless excessive singing could get me disqualified.. then I will stop)

Anywho, needless to say that experience was off the wall (idk is that what people say.. I feel extremely lame saying that).

SO, on another note.. school at the University of St. Thomas is absolutely amazing and I love it and if anyone is on the fence about attending college.. hop off that fence right now because school is great and it keeps you the “good kind” of busy and you should go. Heck, come to St. Thomas and we can be besties. Just sayin..

Studying is kind of hard though, you have to be disciplined. I am disciplined but to a certain degree. If my roommate is gone and I have to write flashcards for an exam in a couple days, but I see my guitar lookin all sorts of lonely over there in the corner, you bet on Gods green earth I’m going to pick up that guitar and start singing and writing songs. It’s who I am, sorry Philosophy, me studying for your test is not happening today… or at least until my roommate gets back and tells me to shut up.

Speaking of my roommate, I think she is the cutest little thing. She makes me smile. She’s just so “consistently” kind to me and considerate and awesome and I think she deserves best roommate award. And we listen to the same kinds of music and like the same shows on Netflix so seriously… it’s a win win situation like all the time. She’s so cool, she deserves a high five.

Other interesting things going on in my life… lets see. Ooooooo I know: I wrote this cool thing about love and y’all should read it. It’s super deep and awesome but I think you’ll like it. It’s like poetry but nothing rhymes so I’m not really sure what it is. Anyways, here it is… I’ll just leave this here:

Love is so complicated

It burns you, but you like the burning; whereas if you were burned by a fire, the burning would hurt you.

Love hurts you too though.

It can hurt you so bad it brings tears to your eyes and aches to your bones.

Love can build you up just as fast as it can tear you down into a million little pieces.

Love doesn’t make logical sense at all.

On any given day you wouldn’t jump off a bridge into unknown waters, but if someone you loved so deeply asked you jump into the deep with them, you would do it in one second.

Love has no boundaries. No limits. No nothing.

Love is lovely, yet it is hellish and unjust. It fills your entire being and makes you feel like a wonderful dance is going on inside of you for days and days. Then all of a sudden the dance ends, and you miss the feeling of fluttering feet in your stomach and acrobatics in your chest. You miss the smile that would skim your face when the thought of them slowly crept across your mind.

But now you’re left with an empty arena inside. The only thing you can hear is the music that was left on repeat when the dancing was over.

The same songs play over and over and over and over...

Yet you never get tired of them, or annoyed that they never stop. You could never even begin to get angry that the same track plays again and again, because it reminds you of when the dancing was still happening inside of you.

When they touch your skin, you felt the goose bumps crawl all the way up your arm and scatter across your entire self. You felt alive, invigorated.

You felt invincible.

So you took the leap of faith and dove head first into something you didn’t have a clue about.

Love numbs you, so you felt nothing when they took advantage of your body and held you too close and spread you too thin.

You thought you meant something incredibly exceptional to them, so you gave yourself to them with all the trust in the world. You handed your heart to them on a silver platter decorated exquisitely with your trust, patience, and your beautiful love.

But who cares about those things, right?

Who cares about the three most individually important things in human existence?

Without trust we have nothing.

Without love we have nothing.

Without trust we would spite everybody.

Without love, we would look blankly into others blank faces and feel nothing but nothingness.  A planet of dull, lifeless, stupid animals we would be without love.

Yet love always aims to shoot us right where it hurts the most.

And here we are blaming love for all our unfortunate misfortunes, when we should blame the ones who misuse love.

Love is fascinating. Captivating. Magnificent.

Yet we treat it as if it were a rock.

We misuse it so we may use other people.

Why do we take such an exceptional thing and make it into something regarded like dirt?

Because we are selfish and greedy and useless.

If we want people to really love us, we need to realize we are only wanting their bodies to love us.

A human body can only do so much, but if someone loves you with their entire soul, mind, and body?

Now that’s something.

That’s love.

That’s the mark of a miraculous person.

A stupendous person.

Love can be the most extraordinary thing this universe has ever seen.

Love can be blinding, and that is why we mistake it for lust, desire, greed, hunger..

We mistake love for longing and thirst.

Love is none of those things, for love is pure in it’s most graceful state.

Do not mistake it for something wretched and horribly sub-par.

When love comes knocking on your door, asking if you will let it in, let in the dance that will coexist within you for as long as the love burns, you will know when it is true.

You will say yes.

You will love every second that it is within you.

Because love is so complicated.

But it is so wonderful all at the same time.

I hope you read that and thought twice and then said, “woah”. Because that’s what I did once I wrote it and read it over. I freaked out a little because, I’m not really sure where that came from. Sometimes I surprise myself.

Anyways, unfortunately I must get back to studying. I love you all and thank you for your endless support. It means the world to me!

Don’t forget to follow me on twitter (@maddieee_mo) and instagram (@madelineconsoer).

-xoxo Gossip Girl

just kidding….

Love,

Madeline