I Really, Really Love My Life

As the holiday season is coming to an end, as the New Year approaches, and as the release of my EP is coming up ever so quickly, I’m taking a step back and putting everything into perspective.

2014 has been a whirlwind of crazy, exciting things. I graduated high school, worked my butt off the entire summer, and recorded an EP in November. Eventful, but ever so amazing. Saying I’m thankful is an understatement for sure. I’m overjoyed, overwhelmed, gratified, contented, satisfied.. and I’m running out of adjectives to describe how happy I am to be living this life that God has blessed me with.

God hasn’t only given me things recently, he’s placed many people in my path along the way that have pushed me and made me who I am today. Without them I’d be at college right now, sitting in my dorm, snacking on a bucket of cheese balls. (Ok maybe not, but it’s still a possibility though)

I’ve been singing ever since I could remember, so that means that people have been inspiring me ever since I could remember. I really started focusing on my musical career when I was fourteen years old. I was in eighth grade when I entered a talent competition in my home town. The people that supported me then were just as amazing as they are now. It meant so much to me to come out every Wednesday night and sing for a mere two to three minutes, and people would cheer every time, so loud I could do nothing but smile and say thank you over a billion times. Music isn’t the most “excepted” thing in this town, and it was nice to express what I loved to do, and actually get positive feedback. Sure, there were still the people that didn’t like me. Maybe because I was too young to even be competing, maybe because they thought I was just doing it to show off, or maybe they were just plain jealous. Whatever the reason, they are the ones that pushed me to become better every week. I wanted to make the people that supported me proud, and prove the people that hated me wrong. Because of all these people, I won the competition and gained a new outlook on my career, and for that I am forever grateful.

After that competition, I began working even harder on making my dream come true. Now that I had a clear vision of what I wanted, I could begin to seriously focus on what needed to be done. I started to play gigs at local restaurants and sing the national anthems at my school’s sports games and events. The feedback was amazing, but then came the question that I would always answer with an exuberant yes, but would never want to actually play something like that in public.

“Do you write songs?” countless people would ask.

“Of course I do!” I’d answer, but inside a knot would begin to twist and turn and I’d say something like, “uhm, yeah but I don’t have the music” or, “I forgot the words.” I’m upset at myself for not wanting to play my songs when I was younger, but I feel like I had a perfectly logical reason then. I was fourteen, and to some people a fourteen year old is immature and they don’t have a reasonable outlook on life. I felt the opposite. I felt like I understood what life was, and in all of my songs I poured my feelings into the words and my emotions into the piano, and because of this I was scared to let people hear these songs, because then they would be peering directly inside of my brain. I didn’t like feeling that vulnerability back then. I wanted to fit in, not stand out because I came off as some emotional wreck.

So anyways, I cast my favorite lyrics into a notebook I hid under my bed, and started writing basic, simple songs that I could play for my “fans”. I wrote songs that blabbered on about teenage crushes and heartbreaks that I only read about in back-cover magazine stories. It seemed to be working though, I enjoyed the catchy melodies that I would plunk out, and the people that I played them for seemed to catch on really quickly, memorizing lyrics and requesting my own music whenever I’d play somewhere. I started to really love playing my own songs. A memory I will never forget was when I was at our good family friend’s house and everyone was sitting around the piano listening to me. Lucky, which was one of my songs, was requested by my best friend Natalie, and I started to play it. To my surprise, everyone in the room knew the lyrics, and they sang along throughout the entire song. It was the most amazing thing to have people singing my own song with me. It was like, “hey man, yeah, you understand me too. We’re on the same page, that’s awesome bro, yeah.” It was so cool!

Anyways…. Since these simple songs were sticking with people, simple songs I continued to write. I don’t even think I could count on 12 pairs of hands how many people asked if they could get the songs on iTunes yet. Even though these songs were sitting well with my audience and I, I still had this quiet little longing inside of me to play my more meaningful songs. Yes, I was scared out of my pants, but I knew I had to.

When I was a senior in high school, I decided to try out one of my songs. When I was ten or eleven years old, I wrote a song called “Breathing Underwater”. I have no idea where the inspiration came from at that age, seeing as it’s practically impossible for an eleven year old to experience a love as deep as the one I sang about. Anyways, I was sitting at home with some company that had come over for dinner and my mom had me sing some songs while we waited to eat. I sat behind the piano, and I remember telling them that I had a new song I wanted them to hear. I played Breathing Underwater and after I finished the last notes on the piano, I remember looking up and seeing nothing but smiles. (Contrary to what I thought I was going to be seeing, which was a look of a mix of discontent and horror) In that moment I knew my emotional self would fare well in the public eye, and I could begin to publicly sing my songs. Not entirely though; I mixed the catchy, simple stuff, with the deep emotional stuff, and wrote some more songs. I wrote a couple called “Leaving Scars” and “La La Love”. People loved them, but that little, tiny person inside of me was still quietly screaming that I wanted to play the deeper material that I so reluctantly kept under my mattress.

Then came this last summer, when I worked three jobs and had no free time for friends, or family.

(Hey, the EP wouldn’t be where it was today if I hadn’t worked my arse off) The only people I had were the people I worked with, and luckily they were some of my favorite people I’ve ever met. I’ll admit I lived a pretty sheltered life, in a way, in the past, but this summer my reigns were loosened and I had a little more freedom than I used to. Thank God in heaven I was able to do the things I did, because the experiences led to more songs upon more songs. I sang every Tuesday night at the same resort I waitressed at. Every week a bigger crowd formed and the more fun it became. Interacting with the audience was my favorite thing to do, and making them laugh was so rewarding. I am usually a very shy person, but once I stepped behind that microphone and piano, I completely opened up somehow, and gave it all I had. Those people who came back to watch me week after week, and the people that only saw me once, were absolutely amazing. My co-workers though, that stayed after sometimes and listened to me sing, meant so much to me. They clearly could have had enough of me every other day of the week, putting up with me and teaching me the ropes of the restaurant biz, but still they chose to stay after their shift was done and listen to me sing. It meant so much to me, even if I didn’t show it all that well.

Even though I came home at midnight or later almost every night, I still sat down behind the piano and filled countless pages of notebooks with songs and lyrics, because I was feeling so much and experiencing life as more of an adult. Growing up and having responsibilities was exciting to me, and as the summer drew to a close, I too began to wind down. My high school friends were leaving for college, my new friends were off to new adventures, and there I was, stuck in this same town, forced back into my old way of life.

There were just short of three weeks left to summer, and work was slowly getting quieter and quieter. I remember one night as I was cleaning the kitchen with one of my co-workers, we got to talking about music. He asked me what my favorite song was lyrically and I instantly blurted out Miss Atomic Bomb by The Killers. I explained how the way that they told the story was mesmerizing, and the lyrics keep you hooked verse after chorus after verse. Then another question slaps me in the face, “what’s your favorite song that you’ve written?” There was that same old knot, twisting up inside of me. For some reason though I opened up more than usual. I was older now, and more mature about my music. I told him the truth, which was that I was scared to sing my favorite songs for other people, because I was afraid of how they would react. Maybe my words won’t make sense to them, or maybe they won’t like the vulnerable side of me. He then told me something that stuck with me to this day. It was something along the lines that I needed to let people hear my music and not be afraid, because the people that like it, are going to love it, and I don’t need to be afraid of the people that won’t like it, because they’ll only build me up. Props to him for being so wise.

Who knew that one person could flip a switch inside of me, and all of a sudden I was ready to play my songs for people. I posted the first one, “Forevermore” on Facebook. The feedback I got was outstanding. People were sharing it left and right and texting my phone asking for more. I was overjoyed and blown away that people liked it so much.

Right before Nashville though, I went through this “funk”. All my friends were gone off to college, summer was over, and I was just plain depressed. I had gotten close with so many people, and it was hard to watch them all move on without me. So I took to the paper and pen once again, but this time locking myself in my room for days on end and writing until I couldn’t feel my fingers anymore. Out of this came some of my best work though, and I am so proud of what I accomplished during this time.

My EP consists of four songs. One, which is Breathing Underwater, was written when I was younger, but the other three, were all written right before I went in for recording, when I was in that “funk”. Little White Lies, Somethin Like That, and Her, all were written in my bed, with nothing else but my pj’s on and my bedside lamp for a light.

Absolutely NONE of this would be possible without the countless people who have supported me from day one. Yes, I remember every single one of you, and I will never, ever forget you. You all mean the world to me, honestly. I am so thankful for not only the people who are in my life now, pushing me and supporting me, but for the people that have recognized me at such a young age, and stuck with me through all these years. Happy tears are clouding my eyes as I write this because of how amazing people have treated me and accepted me.

As I’m sitting here listening to my songs again, the excitement inside of me keeps building. I want to share this music with you NOW! I am so thrilled to release my “diary” to you all in a way. I can’t wait to interact with you, and see how you feel about my music. 

So as I write this blog, I am also announcing the release date of my music across the web….

(drum role please….)

 

On January 16^th, not only will I turn 19 years old, I will also be RELEASING ‘HER’ THE EP for all you lovely people to enjoy!!!!

So, I would love to connect with all of you and get to know you.

Please feel free to email me and ask me any questions you may have. Or if you need a friend, advice, any way I can help, I want to. You all have done so much for me, I am now reaching out to you.

Also, send me an email if you want to pre-order the EP. If you pre-order one now through January fifteenth, you will get a second one free to give to your friends so they can hear it too! Woohoo! Who doesn’t love free stuff!!?

You all are amazing. You all are little gifts from God to me.

So please, talk to me, I’d love to hear from you J

 

madconsoer@gmail.com

 

-Madeline

Girls Run The World.. Literally

Girls with short hair are pretty. Girls with long hair are pretty. Tall girls are pretty. Shorts girls are pretty. Skinny girls are pretty. Not skinny girls are pretty. Every single girl is pretty and I’m getting really sick and tired of people saying you have to look a certain way in order to “fit the mold” and be what everyone else considers “pretty”. It’s not fair.

I know that this is a very talked about topic right now, and I don’t want to bore anybody out of their minds by reading the same thing that they’ve seen over and over.

I’ve seen the videos proven that models are photo shopped. I’ve seen the ads that speak to millions when they say “even the girl in the magazine doesn’t look like the girl in the magazine”.  And yes, I HAVE seen people that walk past me and I think, “she’s perfect, I feel so disgusting about myself”. I’ve seen, heard, and felt it all. I’m no stranger to the scene of insecurity.

But I’ve recently had a revelation myself. My weights fluctuates like the temperatures in northern Wisconsin. One day it will be fifty degrees, the next it will be below freezing. There’s no steadiness there at all. Even though my body changes like the seasons, I need to stay confident about it all the time.

I know. It’s so hard. BEING A GIRL IS HARD.

First of all, we’ve got a lot more going on than boys do, and isn’t it scientifically proven that us women are some of the strongest people on earth?? There is no way in heaven that a man could go through what we do. I think that’s scientifically proven too... or something like that.

Anywho, since girls are straight up awesome, we should all be pretty confident, shouldn’t we? Heck we can get away with a lot. Here’s a short list:

1.       We can wear guy clothes and look pretty hot. If guys wear girls’ clothes, we question things.

2.       That time of the month thing can really be a pain, but we can eat chocolate for a week and no one bats and eye.

3.       Dark eye circles? Bruises? Zits? We got concealer for that. Again, a guy wears makeup, we begin to question.

4.       Our faces do not need to be shaved.

5.       It is always socially acceptable for us to bring a stuffed animal to bed, no matter our age.

6.       If we kind of flip our hair and shake our butts we look like we know how to dance, when we really have no idea what we’re doing.

7.       Back to the time of the month thing, we can blame EVERYTHING on that. Cranky? Tired? Angry? Don’t want to talk to anyone? …blame it on your monthly cycle.

8.       Boys bring us flowers and chocolates to make us happy.

9.       We don’t need to use stupid pick-up lines, we just kind of do that duck face thing and maybe wink and we hook the bait.

10.   We get to wear dresses, and let’s face it, it’s so easy to wear a dress. It looks like we took the time to get ready, when really we just threw one thing on and walked out the door.

11.   We don’t have to stuff boxers into our jeans.. Isn’t that kind of hard to do?

12.   If we’re short, we have the miraculous product of platform heals.

13.   We live longer than men… 7 years on average. Beat that.

 

Given these thirteen reasons to bow down, people should really realize how awesome we are. (I have nothing against men, they are wonderful beings but...) women are amazing and we need to realize this. The number on the tag of our jeans, on the screen of the scale, on the back of our shirts, doesn’t mean a thing. What does matter is what we can do with our lives. We can do anything we want if we set our minds to it. Anything at all.

Let’s become scientists, astronauts, doctors, personal trainers, models, dancers, pharmacists, super stars, truck drivers, ballerinas, professional sports players, fashion designers, inventors… we can be anybody we want.

If someone tries to put you down because you’re “too big” or your “hair is too short” or something else completely stupid and irrelevant, just walk away. You don’t ever need that kind of negativity in your life. The only opinion that matters right now is yours. Love the body you have; love your hair, love your eyes, love your smile, love your belly, love your legs, love your feet and your toes. Love yourself!!

Don’t rely on the love and acceptance of others in order to feel happy with yourself. God gave you a beautiful body, respect it.

You want to look better? Hit the gym! Eat healthy! Show love to your body instead of sitting around wishing you looked different. Change is in your hands, you possess the power to change anything you want, including yourself. So let’s quit putting others down and start building ourselves up.

You’re all beautiful. I can promise you that.

 

-Madeline

Thinkers are the Best Kind of People

I haven’t been blogging lately because I’ve been thinking.

As said by Forrest Gump himself, “life is like a box of chocolates”, and right now I’m chewing on this really sticky one with that caramel inside that’s like a surprise because you thought it was going to be some decadent, gooey, chocolate masterpiece, but instead it’s super hard to even get past the gag reflex. Nobody likes that kind of chocolate, and I’m sorry for you if you do. I wish I could just spit it out, but I can’t because it’s stuck in my teeth and it’s making things real difficult.

Last Saturday I drove down to Minnesota for the first time on my own. It was just me, the radio, and the road. I loved those four and a half hours to myself, jamming and thinking.

But then I started to think too much…

And that’s not good. When my brain starts to think, it doesn’t stop. Let me give you an example: If I start thinking about food, I’ll start thinking about what I’m going to eat for dinner, then I’ll wonder where I’m going to get it, then how I’m going to pay for it. Then I get depressed because I’ll have twenty less dollars than I did before, and then I’ll start thinking about money, and how I need to get another job. But new jobs are nerve racking, and I start to get real anxious about if I’ll find a good job, or if I’ll be stuck flippin flap jacks in the back of some I-Hop for the rest of my life, and…..

Yeah.

The brain of Madeline Consoer ladies and gentlemen.

So on this road trip of mine, you can bet your bottom dollar my gears were turning. I’ve been gathering my thoughts about my relationships with people and how I could improve with them. Saying that Nashville threw me through a loop is an understatement. What a fantastic loop it was, but I didn’t talk to a lot of people when I was there because of the lack of time, but when I did have time, I didn’t hear from some of the people that I really cared about. I think I was kind of hurt by that. I was going through something so amazing in my life, and some of the people I really wanted to share that joy with, didn’t seem to care.. or were too busy with other things to even look up and notice I wasn’t reaching out to them. Yet, here I am, still waiting for them to care for me the way I care about them, instead of moving on.

I came down to the single factor that this is my problem: I care too much for people, that don’t care even half as much about me. I don’t really see this as a bad thing though. I’m ALWAYS there for my friends, always. No matter what. I could never turn my back on anyone. It’s impossible. Someone could break my heart, but if they asked me for help a week later, I would be there. I’ve been told I’m too nice. “Thank you!” I say back, but inside I’m like “crap… I look like a pushover.” Which I am not by the way! I know how to say no, just not one hundred percent of the time.

I am a people person, and I like to make people happy. It’s easy with my music and I love it so incredibly much, but it’s harder when you’re only left with words and actions that aren’t strung together with a melody, or pre-orchestrated on a piece of sheet music. You’re left to your own devices, which can be really stressful. I’ll be honest and blunt in saying, it’s easy for me to attract people with my singing and music, but it’s hard to make them stay once they learn I don’t sing everything I say,  I’m normal and I talk, just like an average person. Normal isn’t cool, or so I’ve learned. In order to be somebody, you need to stand out, and with that I agree. I think what every person aims to do with their life, is create their own brand. Say George really likes wearing aviators. Sure, a lot of people wear those sunglasses, but nobody wears them like George wears them. That’s his brand. And while George is over here wearing aviators, Susy is out there wearing cable-knit sweaters. Susy rocks those sweaters with scarves and boots that make her brand unique.

The same thing goes for music. People always ask me, “So, what kind of music do you sing?” and I answer the same thing every time, “I sing Maddie music.”

Plain and simple.

It’s my own “brand” of music. It’s not simply country, or simply pop, or simply rock, it’s simply Madeline. And that’s all.

So I think all this thinking makes me pretty special. Yeah, it freaks me out sometimes, and I get really worried about tiny little matters, but I sure get a lot of ideas. And you know what ideas are good for? Songs!!

Because I think so much, I get tons of good songs.

So anyways, to the people that I have tried so hard to keep in touch with and be there for, I will always be here, but I think I need to take a break. I need to focus on my “brand" of music, not on the fact that you aren’t talking to me, or you’re too busy with more important matters.

Music is my muse, and I need to grind that into every little wrinkle in my brain. I need to worry about people that worry about me too. Simple as that.

You all should do that too. You only need people in your life that need you! So take a colander and put all your friends into it as if they were all floppy spaghetti noodles, and the ones that don’t fall through the little holes are the ones worth having around. Weird analogy, but hey, whatever works.

I hope you all are having a wonderful week!

It’s always wonderful when it’s the Christmas season anyways, so go out and look at pretty lights, go ice skating, bake cookies, make a snowman and name it, give gifts to people, give love to people. And don’t forget what Christmas is really about; Jesus was born for US, and we must always love him and worship him.

You all are amazing.. never forget that!

 

-Madeline